5/12/2024

 

Marrying Smart = Choosing a Partner You Can Successfully Divorce?

 

Sadia Khan, a renowned relationship expert and psychologist on Youtube and TikTok who goes by the name "sadiapsychology", claims it to be smart to choose a partner whom you can easily divorce from; just in case somewhere down the line something significantly "bad" happens in the relationship. While I can personally somewhat understand her viewpoint, I want to share my two cents along with my broader perspective on why I think this isn't the best advice to follow. I surely don't doubt the fact that Sadia means well by her statement and that she truly believes in what she says but from a higher, metaphysical standpoint, this sort of mentality is much more likely to lead towards divorce rather than a long-lasting successful marriage. The reason for this is very simple: if you consider the possibility of a divorce happening before marriage takes place, then all it really means is that you are unconsciously preparing for possible failure in your relationship. Life is simple after all, in the sense that you get what you focus on; so if you thus then focus on the likelihood of a divorce, what do you think will happen worst-case scenario? Of course you can say: "well, I won't think about the worst-case scenario"; however the problem is that you are already doing that by assuming that a divorce even stands a chance from manifesting. I'd also like to note that I myself don't live in fantasyland, as I'm well-aware that statistically speaking around half of all married couples in the US end up in a divorce; what I want to make clear though, is that any thought you bring into any relationship, especially with your marriage partner, has a chance of influencing its future course and dynamic. Therefore if you don't want to end up in a divorce, you must expel the idea of it altogether and not give it any chance or power to become a reality, simple as that.

In addition, when it comes to attracting or wanting to find someone who's marriage potential, this way of thinking isn't likely going to get you the one who is right for you in the first place because you're simply starting off on the wrong foot. You're basically busy thinking "I want to find a suitable partner to marry" rather than "I want to find that one person who is perfect for me whom I'm going to spend the rest of my life with". You see the obvious difference in mentality and approach towards finding and committing to that person? If your true intention is that you will be with someone who matches you perfectly on every level and is going to stay with you for the rest of your life, then that's what's going to happen (if you restrain from sabotaging your relationship of course with self-limiting beliefs). If on the other hand your intention contains insecurity, vagueness, disbelief etc.. Guess what then? You get what you put out into the world and if your energy signals "I expect unfortunate things to happen", then the universe sadly has no other choice but to present you with the evidence of those assumptions. The truth is that nobody but you ultimately chooses your life's direction and who you'll partner up with but it's essential to be aware of your expectations and what you believe to be true or what is possible because that's essentially what you will create for yourself and in your relationships or marriage, good ór bad.